One Family's Story
May 2007

There are so many stories within our adoption story and they continue to occur. I remember the "waiting" period well. That was very difficult for me and our older daughters. My husband, Jon, seemed to deal with it better. I took the opportunity to go on a painting spree and repainted most of the rooms of our house. It kept me from losing my mind.

One of my favorite memories about our whole process was the birth and going home event. This is our story:

We had been talking with our birthmother for six months before the birth of our baby. I felt as though we had a good relationship, but there were awkward moments in our conversation and I wasn't certain that we had built her trust. So when she asked us to be present for the birth, I was amazed and thrilled, but also a little scared. Birthing a baby is such a personal intimate thing. Would we say and do the right thing? Also, how would we manage it, logistically? We lived 1200 miles away from San Antonio. Babies are frequently early or late. Adoption, as most of you have discovered, is beyond our control. We decided to make decisions as best we could and accept what happened. The whole thing unfolded like a well-directed movie.

We packed up our van with our two older daughters, (took them out of school for a month) our dog, baby things, etc, and left home about two weeks previous to Jennifer's (our birthmother's) due date. We stopped to see family along the way, and enjoyed the adventure of it all. I trusted that we would be there when we needed to be. We arrived in San Antonio on April 9. The baby was due on April 15. We were able to meet Jennifer for the first time at ASA in a little cottage they have on the property. The photographs we had of her didn't do her justice. She was incredibly lovely, reserved and very ready to have her baby.

We stayed in an extended stay hotel that ASA had recommended. The girls loved it. The first few days, we explored the city and kept our cell phone on. As we got closer to the due date, we checked out the location of the hospital and stayed close by to the hotel. Our good friend, Katie, had arranged to fly down for the birth. She, too, had to "pick a date." She chose April 16th. Jennifer's MD had decided that she could be induced on her due date, if baby hadn't made her appearance. So on the evening of the 15th, I spoke with Jennifer on the phone. She had just been admitted and they had started the pitocin. She assured me that she would call when contractions started. I had trouble falling asleep. I expected her call anytime. It was "Fiesta" in San Antonio and we couldn't wait to meet our little party girl.

We woke up early on Saturday, the 16th. I had expected to be called in the middle of the night. Our plan was to pick up Katie at the airport and proceed to the hospital. Katie's flight was due to arrive at 10:30 am. I told Jon that I needed to get to the hospital right away. I had this nagging feeling that I had to be there. He dropped me off on the way to the airport. I ran up to Jennifer's room to find her in the midst of labor. They had given her some medication for the pain, and she wasn't alert enough to call me.

Some people had said to me that having another baby this way, (adoption) was easier than laboring myself. I just chuckled. It would take months to explain it.....how it was much harder to watch Jennifer go through it than if I could have done it for her.

When I labored with our first two, I had a nurse, a midwife and Jon with me. They took such good care of me. They took care of my discomfort with back rubs, etc and coached me through the contractions. I would have done that any day again over watching Jennifer go through the pain of labor with a baby that she wasn't going to take home.

The floor was super busy and she had been alone in there. I was able to read the monitor and talk her through the contractions. At some point, her mom came in and we both coached her. The nurses were absent, though and believe me, I made a spectacle of myself making sure they took care of her. At one point, I remember going up to the desk and telling them that Jennifer was having hard labor in there. They said, "Oh yes, we can see that on the monitor." I replied, "Well, maybe you need to be seeing that in person." Looking back now, I can't believe I said these things. I am normally not at all like that. Already, though, I was in my "Mother Bear" mode. We met some wonderful nurses there, though, and her doctor was also very nice. I think they were just having a busy day.

At 12:30 pm, Jennifer's water broke and the baby was right there. I went out to get the nurses and everyone was flying about getting ready. As soon as I saw them check for the cord, get out a sterile sheet, gloved hands and a bulb syringe, I whispered that she could let the baby come. The doctor wasn't quite ready, but a nurse was. Out gushed our beautiful baby girl, Joseline, all pink with a lusty cry. My eyes welled up with tears. Jennifer was spent. I ran out into the hall and my family with our friend, Katie, had just arrived off the elevator as the doctor was running down the hall to catch Joseline. It was all light and tears and I will never forget those moments. Katie picked the right date, after all.

Jennifer was able to sign two days later, though we went through some real fear that she would not be able to. I attribute her strength to: her strength, her family support (her mom was by her side most of the time encouraging her to go through with it) and the months of skilled counseling and aid she got through ASA. Jon and I had told her at one point in a letter that if she thought she could take the baby home and take good care of her and give her the life she wanted her to have, then we would understand and she should do that. In the end, Jennifer told us that she could see how much we loved her right away and this is what helped her let us take Joseline home.

Our family still cannot believe our good fortune. Our Joseline is a marvel of two-year-old-ness, complete with giggles, songs, and affection. Sometimes, we can't take our eyes off of her. We had so many guardian angels along the way and continue to have. The whole process opened my eyes to the miraculous events that happen in our midst every single day. I give thanks for Nikki, Leah, Linda, Lupe and all the wonderful people at ASA. They do their job so well and communicated with us every step of the way. I am pleased to write about our story and I love hearing about other people's stories. Each of you will have your own story someday soon. So as my wise and steadfast friend, Katie, says,.....Let the Magic Begin.....
Love, Ellen, Joseline's mom