One Family's Story
October 2002

"Faith, Hope, and Love and the greatest of these is Love."

This is how we began our dear birth parent letter when we initiated our quest for adoption in December 2000. We had just gone through an invitro cycle that ended in miscarriage in November after years of trying "on our won" to get pregnant. We had prayed a lot and come to the decision that if that procedure did not work we would move on to adopting. We had already talked to several families who adopted and were very comfortable with the idea.

We began the time-consuming process of paperwork, profiles and pictures and completed everything very quickly. Our disappointment of not being able to get pregnant changed into an excitement at the possibility of getting a baby any time.

We were chosen very early by a girl who moved into the agency's housing in San Antonio. We anxiously took the case and went to meet her. We were both very nervous, but the meeting went extremely well. I continued to call her every week and pick her up to go to doctor's appointments. We never met the birthfather, which concerned me a little. She also had one child living with her.

The last month of her pregnancy her mom came into town and she went back home. At that point, our hopes began to diminish, as we were afraid she had changed her mind. We had convinced ourselves that this was the right one because it happened so fast. She soon cut off communication and then delivered a couple of weeks later, keeping the baby. We were very disappointed. We had already been given a baby shower and had set up the nursery, which made it harder.

Within a short amount of time, we were selected by another birth mom. We of course had more reservations and questions, but agreed to go meet her. We flew to Dallas and met her and her two boys. Again, we were concerned that she had two children living with her and that the birthfather would not meet. His paperwork was not in, but we had to give a decision and she had seemed so kind and happy to meet us. We began talking each week and I even went to a doctor's appointment and got a sonogram picture. She asked us if we had picked out a name and a "going home" outfit for the baby. Everything seemed to be going well. Then A.S.A. got a call from someone telling them she was not planning on placing her baby. Our hopes were dashed again. We were devastated this time. She was only a few weeks away from delivery. She denied everything and I went back to meet with her again.

Suddenly, the red flags we had seen early one made sense and we were able to see through her, despite the cheerful, friendly front she put forward. A few days later my husband told me that he felt God leading us to continue to support this mom through the rest of her pregnancy, despite our heartache and her lies.

Once again, God lifted our eyes from despair to something positive. A couple of weeks later, we were blasted with the news that she had been working with another agency, as well. This confirmed our doubts about her and made it even harder to stick with our commitment to help her. We wanted, however, for her to experience a gift given out of grace and love. Our hope was that one day she will come to know Christ and the eternal gift of love that has been offered to all through God's grace. The day we got the call that she had delivered was hard, but at least we had been prepared ahead of time.

The next day, we got a call about a baby that had already been born, but did not exactly fit our requests. The birth mom was half Hispanic and the baby had been exposed to amphetamines. I told them "sure" to go ahead and show our profile. I felt we had nothing to lose. We were called back that night that she had selected us, but the birth father had not signed his paperwork yet. I thought, "not again, Lord". My emotions had been stretched out as far as I thought they could go. We prayed hard the next week that the baby would not suffer any negative effects from the drugs and that the birth parents would make the right decision.

When I received his pictures, I felt my heart leap. I hoped this would be the one. I took the picture to by Bible Study and shared it with the group. We prayed for the baby and birth parents and for God's will to prevail. That day I got a call from A.S.A. saying the birth father had signed his papers. We were waiting for medical information, but wanted to meet him right away. So we went to his doctor's appointment two days later.

From the moment I saw him, I fell in love. The foster mom placed him in my arms and I could hardly contain my excitement. We went from there to A.S.A, finished the paperwork and took our son home!

Our long wait and years of being on an emotional rollercoaster was finally coming to a close. About a month after bringing our son home, we met with the birth parents and took pictures and shared stories and information. It was the most wonderful meeting I could have ever imagined! I am glad to have that to share with him when he has questions some day. He has had no problems related to the drugs and is even doing everything quite early. We have been extremely blessed and our joy completed.

Our daughter is biological and there is no difference in the love that you feel once that baby is in your arms. Our Faith sustained us throughout this long process. Our Hope kept us moving forward, knowing God's plans for us are good. And our Love has increased with the precious addition to our family.

Trent and Julie